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by orphan_account



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Oneshot, and really needs a hug, its just rly sweet!, saeran has anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You’d known since the start that healing would be a hard process for you both, but that didn’t mean you would ever give up on him. You loved him, and that was what mattered.
Relationships: Choi Saeran/Main Character
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





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**Author's Note:**

  * For [izabel!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=izabel%21).



> i wrote this as a belated christmas gift to someone i care about a whole lot! izabel, u rock, and thank u for being the only person who doesn’t judge me for my strange affinity for 2d boys. maybe one day i will write a good piece, but for now this will have to do

You sat on the bench, feeling the cold breeze infiltrate your bones as you gazed into the river. Winter was on the way, if the sea of brown and red leaves around your feet were anything to go by. The lights of the bridges radiated on the water as shimmers of color, and you could see the golden shine of late night traffic on the other side of the water. You could smell the stillness of the air, the serenity of the people around you. 

Still, you retracted into your scarf ever so slightly, gazing up at the boy who had accompanied you. The last few months had been kind to him. You’d watched the scared boy fade away before your eyes, learning courage and expression in real time. With your help, he was beginning to take care of himself. When he asked you to help him dye his hair red, you’d agreed with a beaming smile and the knowledge that his brother would probably shed a tear or two. He held your hand in public now too, one of his rare shows of affection whenever he was stressed or overwhelmed. These days, whenever you asked him about it after the fact, he would just tell you how happy he was in that moment, and that he wanted you, the cause of it, to know.

You knew it would be a slow process for him to heal, and you didn’t know whether or not he would ever make a full recovery from all of the horrors he’d endured, but you knew you’d be there every step of the way.

At that was why you were sitting on a cold metal bench, looking out into the Han River under a sky full of the brightest stars you’d ever seen. Neither of you had your phones, but it was easy to estimate that it was in the early hours of the morning. He’d been on edge all day, jittery and agitated, but he didn’t have the words to verbalise that he was feeling trapped inside your apartment. You’d suggested a walk, giving him the smile that always told him it would be fine.

And you were together, under the stars of Seoul, and that was enough. It was one of those comfortable silences, enjoying the sight and the company of someone you care for. There was a hotteok stall nearby, so you’d grabbed some warm sugary goodness for you both to share while you spent some much needed time together. You turned to offer him a bite, only to see his eyes glazed over like the stream he was looking at.

“Saeran, are you okay?” You asked tentatively, not wanting to do anything that might startle him while he was in a fragile state of mind. 

“Is this it?” He asked, not turning to meet your eyes.

He had a tendency to not realise that he spoke out loud. It was natural, you realised a while back, since it had been so long since he was allowed to verbalise his thoughts without fear. “I don’t follow..” 

“Is this freedom?” He asked again, never taking his eyes away from the running water. 

“Yeah, baby, I guess it is. What’s it like?” 

“Terrifying.” He said, his voice less than a whisper and his eyes glassy.

“Why’s that?” You asked, unable to hide the shock from your voice.

“Sitting here, all I can think about is when I’m going to lose it.” 

He brought his hands to meet yours, and you could feel the fear and sadness that was radiating throughout him. The streetlamps above you illuminated him like a halo, and all you could think about was how angelic he looked right now. Long gone was Ray, and now you sat next to Saeran, the real one, who was vulnerable and loving and kind.

“I know that nothing is permanent, but sitting here, next to you.. I don’t know how I could ever go back to living like I used to. What if this is all a dream, and tomorrow I wake up and that woman is back to haunt me? What happens then?” He said, his voice hitching ever so slightly as the tears threatened to fall. 

“It’s a very cold dream, to start with.” You said, getting a small giggle out of the head on your shoulder. “I promise you, this is real. I’m real, you’re real, and my love for you is real. Everything else is in the past, and now there’s nothing holding you back from being happy. As long as you still want me here, I won’t ever stop being on this adventure with you, Saeran. That’s what love is.” 

You stood up, reaching out your hand towards him as you both strolled down to the edge of the water. 

“I can’t tell you how to be free, baby, I really wish I could. Hey, maybe neither of us will ever be free from what She did. It doesn’t matter. All that matters to me is you. One day, you’ll wake up, and the first thought that runs through the brilliant mind of you is breakfast, or work, instead of the horrors you’ve been through. It’s going to take time.” 

“But I have you,” he said, looking at you with nothing but complete adoration, “and right now, that’s enough.”

You smiled, and leaned back into him. The trees rustled in the background, and you could hear the sounds of the city radiating in the air around you. He was right, after all.

For now, this would be enough.


End file.
